Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Success! We fucked roommates!
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