I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
