I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
