we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
