I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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