Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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