why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize