He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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