What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
