It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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