I need help removing her.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
