I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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