every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
