its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
