Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
