i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
