i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
