Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And then my night got REAL pukey
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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