We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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