and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
