I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
