i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
