Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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