I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
