turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
