She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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