Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
