Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
