i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you didnt know i had herpes?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
