Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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