I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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