Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
