I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
