seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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