I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
