nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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