You really coming over, don't trick.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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