now i know why i became what i already was.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
