yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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