Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize