So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
