but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
