Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
