i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
