it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
