WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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