My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
