I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
