If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
