Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
